Missing you today baby Kayla

One of the down sides of caring so much about people, is that it means my heart gets broken more. Three years ago at the end of my Freshman year, our Key Club advisor said the Kiwanis were having a team for the Relay for Life and they would like some of the Key Club to participate. I had just finished fundraising for the March of Dimes and figured I didn't want to again just a week or two later. Besides, walking around a track the whole night to raise money for cancer research, that's just CRAZY!!! I put it out of my mind for the next two months. One night my mother got a phone call. It was her brother, Chuck. He had called to inform us he had been diagnosed with cancer. Devastated, I laid in bed that night thinking about all the people cancer had taken away from me. A 14yr old schoolmate, 3 teachers, a friends mom, my grandpa, all gone due to this horrible disease! I wanted to do something, any thing, so stop it from doing the same to my beloved uncle, because, one thing my uncle did not have that all the others I lost had, he did not have God. I feared if I lost him now, I would never see him again. A few days later I went to another Key Club event and I got lost in conversation with this awesome Kiwanis lady. I opened up to her about how upset I was because we just found out my uncle had cancer. She asked me if I was participating in the R4L. I had completely forgotten! I knew then this was the way I was going to do my part! I went through out the next week around town door to door asking for donations, and by the Saturday of the relay, I had near $300! And let me tell ya, it was one of the best events I have ever gone to! R4L became a passion of mine. The next year I started our own team, the next year I was on the town planning committee. In Febuary of 2007, I went to an American Cancer Society forum, where you can get help for R4L from others in the same position as you. I met a lady named Julie Weber. Her infant daughter, Kayla, had been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. I began to follow Kayla's story very closely and she completely won my heart. Julie sent newsletters, I became friends on myspace and got to see more photos almost weekly of her progress, and I found myself wanting more and more by the day to see her grow up healthy. She went through a stage where is was a close call, but she made it through! Every day her numbers got better and better, in September, they were about ready to declare her cancer free.
Kayla became unusually cranky, now a year old, every one told her mom that was normal for her age. Julie's gut told her differently though. She finally made an appointment with the doctor, and when they investigated, 16 new cancerous tumors were found through out her urinary tract. It was so crushing, every one's hopes had been built up so high, hearing she's getting better, and better, and better, to all of a sudden hear, it's bad, it's very bad. December 2, 2007 Kayla died.
It just loses me, how can this happen. Kayla was born in August and was diagnosed only 3 months later to have cancer! I never knew it was possible to get it that young! And now, it didn't only get her, it took her away! When I hear stories of children with bad birth defects, of children severely abused, then taken back to heaven, I comfort myself with the thought that God took them to save them from a terrible life. I can't do that with Kayla though, she was in a perfect story! High school sweethearts married for a few years, all settled into their careers decide it's time to start a family. They have the love to provide, and the shelter a child needs. Children are never supposed to die, but why do they die when they had a good life I just can't wrap my mind around it! I realize she was taken to ease her pain of being sick, but how or why she ever got sick I can't understand. There are some things in life I will never understand. One thing I do know is that I have to thank Kayla. She opened my eyes to how bad cancer is, and how it chooses any one. She has given me my mission, to stop childhood cancer! I don't know why I chose this for today, I just for some reason really missing her today

"I just want to be normal!"

What really defines normal? There was a crazy guy sitting on a park bench ranting and rambling about how it is the end of the world. Another guy sits down and listens for a while, then gets up and walks away, leans over to his imaginary friend, "Well that guy sure is weird."
There are so many different views of normal. One mother goes to work every day and says having children shouldn't stop her from being all she can be in the working world, like kids are a side job. Then there is another mother, who stays at home, even though her kids are in high school now and don't need things toddlers need. She says being a mother is first priority, and once you have children they should be your only concern, that is when your career should end. Both women think the other is wrong, they think their way of life is right...is normal. And there are so many sub normals with in the normals. The stay-at-home mom, does she quit the moment she finds out she is pregnant, or just when maternity leave comes? What about going back to work? Does she never, or once the kids are in school, or after they have gradauted? The working mom...does she put them in day care? If so how long after, days, weeks, months, or years? When do you quit? Once you are a grandma, or wait until your body is just too worn out to go another day?
Every person in every one of these positions says there way of life is normal. One person sees me, I spend countless hours volunteering in the community, and says why am I spending so much time tending to others needs when I have my own. Another person would see me and say to me that they wish they were more like me, and commend me for my hard work. And yet others, seeing what I don't do, would say I am lazy, and should be doing more. When some one heard I was going to Peru last year, they asked me who I was touring with. I told them I was going with Focus on the Family, but it was a missionary trip not touring. They were appalled! "How stupid are you?!" They exclaimed. "I understand you want to see the world and learn all about it. But paying $3000 to go live in poor, dirty, unpleasant conditions and have to sweat and work your butt off for no pay. That's just a waste of time and stupid waste of money!" They tried to talk me out of it bringing up points that I should be out there living life to the fullest. Swimming in the sea, seeing the ancient castles, eating the best food, shopping in the most famous malls. I have done those things, and they are fun but have more downs than ups. Swim in the sea, it's cold! Ancient castles, big scary oh yeah and cold! Eating best food, I get fat! Shopping in famous malls, I lose all my money on one cheesy trinket! When I toured Europe I was miserable, wishing I was there on a missions trip to help all the hurting people I saw. All touring did for me was show me that I never want to "waste" my money on seeing old buildings and art that will have no effect on lives of others and my own. But she thought it would have a more positive effect on my life than being around a bunch of poor people.
To me her statement is weird, to her it's normal. To her my way of life is weird, I say it's normal!
Reminds me of our fez last year, Long. He saw a kid eating a hot dog and was disgusted. He screamed "No no no! Don't put it in your mouth! Why, why would you do that?! Why!!!!" While I tend to agree with him...he once asked why our school kitchen doesn't serve opticals. "Glasses?" We thought. But he explained in his homeland of Vietnam, animal eyes are a come part of a meal. We all had near the same reaction as he had to hot dogs. And he was just as baffled as we were to his disgust over hot dogs. Hot dogs are normal to us, eyes are normal to him.
If there were a rule book to life (besides the bible) that listed out every single situation and said what is normal, and what is weird, I may be the weirdest person on earth, but to me...I am normal! But the thing is, God created us all different for a reason, and being that we are all different, we all have different views of normal. I think that is why God didn't write a book saying who was right in every situation. He gave us what we need to live in harmony with each other. He gave us love, joy, peace, patience, faith, gentleness, and self-control. There are only 10 true normals(who's right in this situation) that he gives us. Even those are there to help us live in harmony.
God made us stones, we only can fit in certain spots that he has formed us to fit into. Not bricks, every one like the other one, not making a difference which goes where. That would mean none of us are special to Him, it would make us boring!
So when I hear people say they wanna be normal, or just want to live a normal life, I say sorry hun, it's never gonna happen! No human being will ever be normal. I never want to be normal, cuz that would make me very weird!

Jett Travolta son of Jonh Travolta died this morning

So very sad when ever some one dies under the age of 70. Here is a video I made of his life, and below that is the clip I read to find out the sad news. I chose the song "Wish you were here" thinking how wonderful it would be if John and Kelly could meet him in heaven some day. I love the line "Just hold on to Jesus reach out for his hand and one day they welcome you home" Maybe this will be a beginning of a change for the Travolta's. Jett was autistic and innocent, therefore I believe he is in heaven right now. Running with the angels on streets made of gold and listening to stories of saints new and old.



John Travolta's teenage son, Jett, died in the Bahamas after falling ill and hitting his head at his family's vacation home, police said Friday. A house caretaker found Jett, 16, unconscious in a bathroom late Friday morning. He was taken by ambulance to a Freeport hospital, where he was pronounced dead, according to a statement from chief police superintendent Basil Rahming.

The teenager had last been seen going into the bathroom on Thursday and had a history of seizures, according to the statement. Police said they are planning an autopsy to determine the cause of death.

Another police spokeswoman, Loretta Mackey, said Jett apparently hit his head on the bathtub.

A spokeswoman for Rand Memorial Hospital in Freeport said she could not release any information because of privacy concerns.

Jett was the oldest child of Travolta and his wife, actress Kelly Preston, who also have an 8-year-old daughter. The family arrived on a private plane Tuesday and had been vacationing at their home in the Old Bahama Bay resort community.

First entry for 2009 It's a new time!

Today, I just felt impressed to post the lyrics to this song... It seems to fit today.
New Day by Avalon:

Chorus:
It's a new day,
Oh, it's a new time
And there's a new way,
I'm gonna live my life
All the old has passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, it's a brand new day

Lookin' back at yesterday,
There are things that I regret
But I put the past behind me
And I never will forget
You have covered my mistakes,
And my broken dreams
Now over the horizon
I see the dawn is drawing near
And I realize the sun did rise
Tomorrow's finally here

Chorus:
And it's a New Day,
Oh, it's a new time
And there's a new way,
I'm gonna live my life
All the old has passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, it's a brand new day

Now when I wake up thinkin'
Of the things I've done before
Memories I could not escape
Well they can't haunt me anymore
Now I can hold my head up high
'Cause I am not the same
You've changed my whole perspective
And with new eyes I see
I've become a new creation
'Cause of what you've done for me

Chorus:
It's a New Day,
Oh, it's a new time
And there's a new way
I'm gonna live my life
All the old has passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, it's a brand new day


Cause of what you've done for me
Now I am not ashamed
This heart of mine is finally free
And I will never be the same!

'Cause it's a New Day,
Yeah, it's a new time
And there's a new way
I'm gonna live my life
All the old has passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, it's a brand new day