Short Stories by Anna

Well I haven't resolved anything since my last post. Still just going through the motions and contemplating when to take the leap of faith. An update though, I have decided to start sharing some of my short stories with the world. Not sure where to put them yet, so I just created a new blog to post them for now. Do me a favor and follow it too?? shortstoriesbyanna.blogspot.com

Why am I here?

Why am I here? It's a question I have been pondering non stop lately. It has always been the plan for me to move to Africa, ALWAYS. I was 4yrs old at my aunt Teri's house when I saw an add for saving the starving african children, when my aunt explained to me what a missionary was, and when decided some day it would be me. So around 6th grade I made up in my mind that nursing was what would get me there. I held on to that plan all through high school. Then college came, I failed my first term. Nursing was out of the picture after that. It is not possible, and even if it was, I have no desire for it. So I went and talked to my adviser, who knows nothing of the history of my dream, and she suggested journalism based on what I actually like to do. I was excited about it, but when the excitement wore off, I am left thinking, if I get into this, I will end up in a desk job half my life. I don't want that, I want to be out living the dream everyday. So now I have reached the point where I am asking, why am I still here? Why am I not in Africa? There is loads of things I can do with out college education, and besides, there isn't much I can do with the area of study I am doing. So what do I do? I am losing my desire to be in school, I just want to find an organization that can support me, and I want to go be in Africa. So, why am I still here in oregon, wishing my life away with full time school, part time waitressing, and no time in the week for church. Why am I not out there, feeding the starving, bringing hope to the hopeless, rocking the orphans to sleep. I feel I am stuck in a rut, and it is just about time to get out. I don't know how I am getting there, but I do not want it to take much longer. I am tired of wondering, Lord please tell me, why am I here, and not where my heart is?