Missing you today baby Kayla

One of the down sides of caring so much about people, is that it means my heart gets broken more. Three years ago at the end of my Freshman year, our Key Club advisor said the Kiwanis were having a team for the Relay for Life and they would like some of the Key Club to participate. I had just finished fundraising for the March of Dimes and figured I didn't want to again just a week or two later. Besides, walking around a track the whole night to raise money for cancer research, that's just CRAZY!!! I put it out of my mind for the next two months. One night my mother got a phone call. It was her brother, Chuck. He had called to inform us he had been diagnosed with cancer. Devastated, I laid in bed that night thinking about all the people cancer had taken away from me. A 14yr old schoolmate, 3 teachers, a friends mom, my grandpa, all gone due to this horrible disease! I wanted to do something, any thing, so stop it from doing the same to my beloved uncle, because, one thing my uncle did not have that all the others I lost had, he did not have God. I feared if I lost him now, I would never see him again. A few days later I went to another Key Club event and I got lost in conversation with this awesome Kiwanis lady. I opened up to her about how upset I was because we just found out my uncle had cancer. She asked me if I was participating in the R4L. I had completely forgotten! I knew then this was the way I was going to do my part! I went through out the next week around town door to door asking for donations, and by the Saturday of the relay, I had near $300! And let me tell ya, it was one of the best events I have ever gone to! R4L became a passion of mine. The next year I started our own team, the next year I was on the town planning committee. In Febuary of 2007, I went to an American Cancer Society forum, where you can get help for R4L from others in the same position as you. I met a lady named Julie Weber. Her infant daughter, Kayla, had been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. I began to follow Kayla's story very closely and she completely won my heart. Julie sent newsletters, I became friends on myspace and got to see more photos almost weekly of her progress, and I found myself wanting more and more by the day to see her grow up healthy. She went through a stage where is was a close call, but she made it through! Every day her numbers got better and better, in September, they were about ready to declare her cancer free.
Kayla became unusually cranky, now a year old, every one told her mom that was normal for her age. Julie's gut told her differently though. She finally made an appointment with the doctor, and when they investigated, 16 new cancerous tumors were found through out her urinary tract. It was so crushing, every one's hopes had been built up so high, hearing she's getting better, and better, and better, to all of a sudden hear, it's bad, it's very bad. December 2, 2007 Kayla died.
It just loses me, how can this happen. Kayla was born in August and was diagnosed only 3 months later to have cancer! I never knew it was possible to get it that young! And now, it didn't only get her, it took her away! When I hear stories of children with bad birth defects, of children severely abused, then taken back to heaven, I comfort myself with the thought that God took them to save them from a terrible life. I can't do that with Kayla though, she was in a perfect story! High school sweethearts married for a few years, all settled into their careers decide it's time to start a family. They have the love to provide, and the shelter a child needs. Children are never supposed to die, but why do they die when they had a good life I just can't wrap my mind around it! I realize she was taken to ease her pain of being sick, but how or why she ever got sick I can't understand. There are some things in life I will never understand. One thing I do know is that I have to thank Kayla. She opened my eyes to how bad cancer is, and how it chooses any one. She has given me my mission, to stop childhood cancer! I don't know why I chose this for today, I just for some reason really missing her today