Though I walk through the valley

I gotta face it, 2009 has been one of the hardest years of my life. Okay that may be an exaggeration, here's a better way of putting it. 2009 has been the most emotional year of my life. I started off the year with an outbreak of senioritice. I wanted out of high school so bad that I missed out on a lot of fun events just because I did not want to be at the school more than I had to be. I missed getting to ORU by missing 10 points on my SAT scores. I was so crushed. Then I felt convinced that I was going to CCC to turn it upside down and on fire for God. Well, I have had a blast having my beliefs challenged for the first time in my life, and getting to be the goody christian around my new circles, but it wasn't quite such a huge revival as I imagined. May I got my first job as a waitress in a retirement home. I graduated high school and felt on top of the world. I started working more hours and it made it impossible to go to church. Then I felt like one of those people who graduate then never goes to church again. I have been battling with myself over that a lot. Come September I had an idea for a story, I went with it, and now am thinking of publishing when I finish. Then the devastation hit December 16 when I got the results that I flunked 2/3 of my classes in college. Meaning so far my college experience has been a failure. Failing also meant that I lost my scholarship which paid for 1/2 of tuition, I will find out tomorrow if I am kicked out of ASG or not, and I am on probation with federal aid. School starts tomorrow and I do not meet the requirements of the classes I am in because of my failures. I have determined nursing is not what I want to do. I am now thinking some kind of video production. I think maybe that is why I didn't get the scholarship that would have sent me to ORU. Because I didn't know what I was doing yet. It would have cost me a lot in moving expenses and cost ORU a scholarship that could have gone to some one who had it figured out. Maybe once I figure out what I am doing things will be better financially. I have gained 30lbs since January 2009. Mainly because my addiction to facebook and my habit of emotional eating.
What are my goals for 2010? 1. Get better grades. 2. Figure out what I want to do. 3. Lose the 30lbs I gained(200lbs to 170lbs). 4. Finish my book. 5. Publish my book. 6. Get my GPA from 2.4 up to 3.5